Debunking divorce mediation myths: Facts about the mediation process.

Myth: Mediation allows one spouse to dominate another.

Fact: A good mediator pays close attention to the power balance between the spouses and uses specific techniques to address any imbalance. If one spouse persists in dominating behavior, the mediator will call a stop to the mediation rather than allowing it to continue. One caveat: Even the best mediator can be unaware of a power imbalance if it only goes on outside of the mediation sessions and the spouses don’t let the mediator know about it.

Myth: Women are at a disadvantage in mediation.

Fact: Women are no more at a disadvantage in mediation than in divorce court. In fact, women can often obtain a better result in mediation than they can in court, because the mediation process allows separating spouses to negotiate an agreement that considers nonlegal factors. Also, except for court-ordered (mandatory) mediation, a woman is free to stop the mediation or refuse to sign an agreement that seems unfair to her.

All parents are co-parents. Every child has two parents, and from the beginning, we have to contend with our co-parent and all of his or her opinions, attitudes and behaviors.

Whether or you are married or not, whether you are co-habitating or living separately from your child’s other parent, sharing parental responsibility is hard work. It can be fabulous, rewarding, messy and heartbreaking – and it frequently asks more of us than we are prepared to give.

Parents who live together face many of the same tough questions as those who parent apart – How much junk food? How much screen-time? What bedtime is appropriate? How to pay for a sport, a summer camp or a cellphone? Why are you, dear co-parent, “always” late (or overly controlling or too lenient or too strict?)

Parents who live together, married or not, may be more likely to work collaboratively, but not always. There are married parents living in high-conflict households, in which the children suffer from frequent exposure to parental fights.

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